


Ichabod (and Abbie) Do the Twenty-First Century

by fantasylover12001



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Gen, Ichabod Crane vs. Modern Technology, Ichabod Crane vs. the 21st Century, This is crack, abbie puts up with so much, ranting Ichabod Crane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-14 22:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2205504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasylover12001/pseuds/fantasylover12001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While stuck in the future, Ichabod decides to explore this brave new world that he is stuck in. Abigail Mills gets dragged into his quest...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro-Or Ichabod Starts His Quest

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fic born out of the fact that I wish the show got to explore Ichabod being a man out of time more. But, I understand that they can't do it as much as I want, because they only have so many episodes and time in which to get to the plot. So here we are.  
> Please note, this is mostly crack/humor. It is not to be taken seriously. There's no real plot. This was mostly me getting back into the swing of writing again (I wrote fanfic once upon a time, I have only just gotten back into it) and having a lot of fun at Ichabod's expense.

_The (New) Journal of Ichabod Crane_

_Well, it appears I am stuck here in this so-called twenty-first century. I suppose there is not much I can do about it, but make the most of it. At the very least, it seems I have a companion to help me in Miss Abigail Mills._

_Which is fortunate, because this century is confusing! It's so LOUD for one. There is always some sort of noise going on. Even the buildings make noises! I'm told this is a contraption used for heating (or was it air conditioning?). Whichever one it is, it is noisy. Then there are those things called televisions (or TV? I'm confused about why there are two names for the same thing). I do not understand the point of them, although I do admit those nightly programs called news, that tell people of the days events around the world, is extroardinarily helpful. Even if I can't make sense of half of what they are saying. I also do not understand why you need that, as well as the daily newspaper in the morning. Surely not that much happens in a day?!_

_Everything is just so different here. This is the same town I lived in, and the same country, and even the same world, but it is over two hundred years later and it feels like I am in some fantasy novel. But everyone looks at me like I am the odd one._

_Even writing is different! No one uses quills and ink anymore apparently. At least not normally. Miss Mills told me that some still do for creative purposes or to be fancy or something but it is not the normal thing to do any more. Now, they use these things called pens that self ink. They're fascinating, though a bit hard to get used too. Also this one that Miss Mills gave me has a strange device on top that makes a clicking noise, and for the life of me, I don't understand its purpose. Although clicking it is rather fun. Perhaps the purpose is to provide amusement as you think of what to write?_

_The paper is different as well. Much more thin then I am used too. I'm afraid I am going to write too hard and poke a hole through it, although Miss Mills assures me I can use both sides of the paper here._

_While I am at a loss about this century, I am also rather excited at the prospect of exploring this new world. That is why I asked for a new journal to write in. While in between my work, I hope to explore everything this new world has to offer. It is a terrifying prospect, but also an exhilarating one. What was it Franklin told me once? Don't let new experiences terrify you, look at them as a learning experience. Or something like that at least._

_Granted, this sort of situation was probably not what he had in mind when he said that. I believe he was just trying to encourage me as I left my old life behind. But, the sentimate still stands, and is appropriate. I shall look at this as a learning experience. I shall see what my comrades in arms managed to accomplish by forming this new country and all that came after it._

_At the very least, I shall not be bored. Although that may change soon. When is Miss Mills going to be here? I can only wait in this cell called a hotel for so long._


	2. Chapter 1: A is for Apple (the Company, Not the Fruit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italic writing=Ichabod's journal.

_From the Journal of Ichabod Crane:_  
Today, I learned about those computer contraptions. Apparently, there are more then one kind. Some are better thnn others. There is a particular brand I learned about, called Apple, which was created by a man named Steve Jobs. Well, apparently, he didn't single-handingly create it. He had help. But he is apparently very important and I am to check out his biography immediately.  
Learning this information started when I offered to help Miss Mills with her paperwork, a thing she seems to abhor greatly... 

 

"Let me guess this straight. You are actually volunteering to do my paperwork for me?" Abigail was giving him that look that she often gave him. The one that implied that he was possibly from outer space.

"I am volunteering to help," Ichabod corrected. "It is the least I can do. It seems I am going to be here for quite awhile. So I might as well be of some use, when we are not battling the forces of evil."

That got him another look. Then she shrugged. "All right. You want to chain yourself to a desk, that's your business. I'm not going to turn down free help on paperwork. I'll be right back."

Ichabod nodded and sat down at her desk to wait. It had been a few minutes when one of the police officers let out a noise of frustration at her computer. "Damn it, Apple!"  
He looked at her curiously. She was one of the officers he didn't know well. Tall, white, with blonde hair that was pulled into a bun, and slightly imposing in her uniform. He forgot her name until he saw the Wells on the name tag.

"Why are you cursing a piece of fruit?" He asked curiously. Was this some new custom he hadn't learned yet?

She looked at him. "Oh, you're Abbie's time-traveler guy, right? The one who thinks he's from the Revolutionary War?"

Ichabod sighed. "I do not THINK I am from the Revolutionary War. I KNOW I'm from the Revolutionary War."

She nodded slowly, making it clear she did not believe him. "Of course you are."

It was endlessly frustrating, dealing with people who did not believe him. But Ichabod decided to put that aside for the moment. "But honestly, why are you cursing fruit?"  
"I'm not cursing fruit, I'm cursing my computer. I'm tired of all the updates it wants me to do."

"Updates?" This was fascinating.

"Yeah, you know, like the iTunes updates. I just updated that thing like a month ago and already they're making me do it again. It's ridiculous!"

The man sitting at the desk behind her, something Mastriani, snorted at her. "The real question is, why are you using iTunes at work, Wells?"  
Ichabod just wanted to know what ITunes was.

"Hey, if I've got to do all this paperwork, I'm going to at least have tunes! I have headphones, so it's not like I'm disturbing the work place."

This was getting off track. "That still does not explain why you are cursing fruit."

Mastriani looked delighted, which was when Ichabod remembered that he was part of the IT department. Who were apparently the people that dealt with technology on the force.  
"Abbie hasn't explained Steve Jobs to you yet?"

"Who?"

Abigail, naturally chose that minute to arrive with a large stack of forms. "All right, Crane. You want to work. Here you go."

"Miss Mills, who is Steve Jobs?" He asked, as he took the pile of papers from her.

She blinked. Then she looked at Mastriani and Wells. "Which one of you is responsible for this?"

They both pointed at the other person and Abigail sighed.

 

_So as I helped Miss Mills with her work, Miss Wells and Mr. Mastriani explained about things like computer brands and then got into a very confusing debate about something called Mac versus something called PC. Apparently there is a difference between the two, despite the fact that both of them are in fact computers, and that difference is quite important.  
Thankfully, Miss Mills promised to take me to a bookstore to pick up this biography on Steve Jobs that Mr. Mastriani recommended to me. I am rather excited about this trip because it occurs to me that I have over two hundred years worth of books to catch up on. I am curious to see which books from my era have endured on to become classics._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time: Ichabod goes the modern bookstore.  
> Likely chapters will be posted every other week or so, depending on my schedule. I work retail, so my schedule is random.
> 
> Note on the Abigail thing: Ichabod is the one narrating, so I assume that since he's a proper guy he calls Abbie by her full name in his head and Miss Mills (or Lieutenant) on paper.


	3. Chapter 2: B is for Bookstore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichabod gets his history books. Gets dismayed when he finds a Starbucks hidden in his precious bookstore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay of this. Work was nuts for awhile and real life got in the way. Plus my own personal feelings about books kept getting in the way. I'm a big reader. Like huge. So I have lots of thoughts and feelings on the way the book world is run. But I realized Ichabod and Abbie would likely not know about those things, nor care. So I had to cut a lot that I had, because I highly doubt Abbie would defend YA to the death like I would...

_From the Journal of Ichabod Crane:_  
Today is the day!  
At last, the modern bookstore. I admit, I am a bit giddy about all of this. I am certain this is one aspect of the world that has NOT changed. You can always count on books. Books will always be there. As will bookstores. 

Ichabod was not amused.

The green symbol hung on the wall, clearly mocking him. It was appalling.

"Even here?! In a bookstore?!" Ichabod said in disgust.

"It's a way to draw in more customers for the store," Abigail explained to him.

"But...it is a bookstore! One should go to a bookstore to buy BOOKS. Not...STARBUCKS."

Abigail patted him on the back. "So I guess you don't want a Pumpkin Spice?"

"NO, I do not want a Pumpkin Spice, whatever that is. I also must say, I am appalled, that you are enabling their clear quest to take to take over the world."

Abigail sighed. "Crane, I told you, franchises are not trying to take over the world."

"Really? Then why is that horrible McDonald's thing on every other block? Hmm?"

"Okay, I need that latte, stat." Abigail muttered and walked off. 

Ichabod watched her go feeling nothing but disappointment in his partner and then took a look around.

Then he sighed. Apparently modern bookstores were very different from his time. He walked down the aisles and frowned even more. Science Fiction? Young adult? What were Graphic Novels? 

"May I help you, Sir?" a woman asked and Ichabod silently thanked God. She was an older woman, possibly in her fifties. Black, with curling white hair and odd oval-shaped purple rimmed spectacles on her face. 

"Yes, Maam. I am looking for the history books. Specifically books on the Revolutionary War."

She blinked. "Maam? Well, aren't you sweet? Just for that, I'll show you the way. For some reason, we hide the non-fiction here. I think the store owner has a personal vendetta against the genre that's leftover from her days at grad school. Don't tell her I said that."

"Your secret is safe with me." 

She led him to a back corner of the store (perhaps there was some merit to that personal vendetta story...) and pointed to the top of one of the shelves. "All your history books start here. We try to have them in order, so Revolutionary War will be right around the second shelf."

Ichabod thanked her and started browsing. By the time Abigail found him, he was not happy.

"Leftenant, precisely HOW many wars has America been in?!" he asked, gesturing to all the tabs showing the time periods. "The Revolutionary War, The War of 1812, The Civil War, and what on Gods green earth do WWI and WWII even mean?"

"WW is the abreviation for World War I and World War II," she answered, bracing herself.

"There were WORLD WARS? TWO of them?" Ichabod was appalled.

"If it makes you feel any better, the second war was mostly just a continuation of the first."

"Oh well, that makes it so much better." Then he looked at the shelves again. "Oh look, MORE wars! Awful lot of books on this Iraq. What happened in Iraq?"

Abigail thought a minute and then shook her head. "Nope. Not enough coffee in the world to make me even try and explain what we're doing there."

"And who is this Lincoln fellow? He certainly has a large amount of books written on him."

"Well, you know how there's no slavery anymore?"

"Yes. A development I applaud."

"Well, he's who you should be aiming that applause at. He's largely responsible for it."

"Ah! I look forward to reading about him then. But for now, the Revolution! Help me narrow down my list?" he pleaded, handing to her a pile of papers with book lists on them.

"Where did you get these?" Abigail asked, and then paused and put her hand over her heart. "Crane, did you have your first Google search? Without me? I'm hurt."

"No, I did not do a Google search. Whatever Google is. Mastriani put together a list of books for me read because he was apparently appalled at my lack of knowledge about things."

"Well, lets see what we have here." She frowned. "I think we can skip Steve Jobs until you get to the actual computer age. Okay, here we go, 1776 by David McCullough. I hear that's a good one..."

_In the end, I wound up with three books on the Revolution and One on Thomas Jefferson/General Washington/Ben Franklin/John Adams, whom Miss Mills has told me are now frequently referred to as "the Founding Fathers". The reverence with which people speak of these men will forever amuse me. They do know that Ben liked to walk around in the nude, yes? I also managed to find a book about the early beginnings of this country. So it was a successful shopping trip. Even if I did almost faint at the atrocious price of the books._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Tidbits: Sci-fi wasn't really a thing until Frankenstein which was written in 1818. So Ichabod really would have no clue what Sci-Fi was. YA didn't really become YA until the 1950s, thanks to books like Catcher in the Rye and Lord of the Flies. Oh, there were books aimed at teens before this, for sure (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn for instance), but it wasn't until this era that people started to give that distinction between YA and Adult fiction. So Ichabod would also be clueless about YA (and probably be clueless about the disdain aimed at the genre since in his time, teenagers were pretty much treated as mini adults, but that's a whole other rant that you do not want me to get started on.)  
> And no, Ichabod doesn't know about Amazon and the whole disappearing bookstores thanks to economy thing going on. Abbie hasn't had the heart to tell him.
> 
> But if you ever want to talk books with me (or anything nerdy really), feel free to come over to my tumblr: [A Fangirl's View](http://afangirlsview.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: pens didn't become a thing until the mid-eighteen hundreds or so. There was a fountain pen or two in the seventeen hundreds apparently, but they would not have been as widely available as the ink and quill. So Ichabod would likely have had no idea about the joys of the clicky pen in his time.


End file.
